Hudson River Landing

Though a thin sheet of orchid splattered orange cloth covers my living-room television, facebook was kind enough to inform me of the true fucknuttery that is a water landing on the Hudson river. As all 155 passengers of AirBus flight 3.14 survived before the plane sank, I am no longer able to mock the flight attendants as they unconvincingly mime their way through the safety procedures for a 300 mph ocean landing.
From now on I'll just do what I always do before takeoff: pretend to be terrified of flying and grip the neighboring armrests in mock fear, thus staking my claim and expanding my local territory for the durration of the flight. And, this time it will all be sans my usually pithy and cynical banter. Sigh. Is safety really worth the cost?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7832191.stm