Winner: Most Depressingly Poetic Status Update Ever!

Congratulations, Jack, and hang in there. Maybe this win will help turn the tide that is your undulating serotonin level.

"Jack is envying the benign indifference of the drifting rain."


Close seconds in the Sad Sap category were Liz, mother of two, with:

"Liz can't live on bread alone. Which is unfortunate, because everything else is really expensive."

And Shawn, effete spandex model, with:

"Shawn is sick. Shawn is bored. Shawn is bored sick. Shawn is sick of being bored. Shawn is bored of being sick."

Other near misses were Steph, Lauren and Brooke with:

"Steph is wondering where my cue card is that tells me how to deal with this situation...."

"Lauren just found out scott was on his way up to suprise me and is having car problems!! al;kjewa;oijas."

"Brooke is going to work."

To all the runners up, I offer my condolences for your depressing situations and for this new disappointment of coming so very close to winning yet falling short once again. Think of the Most Depressingly Poetic Status Update Ever! award as an excuse find the golden ring around your toilet, the silver lining in those drifting rain clouds. Remember, turn your grief to art, and we're all winners.